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An 87-year-old woman Posted on 01/02/2008 11:31 PM by RobUK
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to
find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she
became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of
their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the
court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything
to say to defend herself.

"Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if
he ...Read more
Reasons not to drink Stella Posted on 21/01/2008 11:00 AM by Funtimes
Man walks in pub and asks barman for a pint of anything but stella.Whats wrong with stella the barman asks,well i drank 12 pints of it last night and when i got home i was fooking skint.Well says the barman if you bought 12 pints of any beer you would spend alot of money

You dont understand says the man skint is my Jack ...Read more
Acronyms Posted on 01/02/2008 11:36 PM by RobUK
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defunct Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, ...Read more

An 87-year-old woman Posted on 01/02/2008 11:31 PM by RobUK
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to
find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she
became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of
their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the
court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything
to say to defend herself.

"Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if
he ...Read more
You've got mail? Posted on 31/10/2008 08:35 PM by garypoot
A man is in his front garden when his attractive neighbour comes out of her house and heads to her letterbox. She opens it, looks inside, slams it shut, and storms back into her house. A little later, she comes out of her house again, goes to the letterbox, opens it, and again slams it shut. Angrily back into the house she goes. A short while later, she comes out again. She marches to the ...Read more
Al-Gebra Posted on 08/11/2008 08:51 PM by garypoot
The Threat

London 11th August - A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick
Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,
a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference the Home Secretary said she believes the
man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. She did not identify the
man, who has been charged by ...Read more

The Royal Wedding Posted on 25/11/2008 10:44 PM by garypoot
Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles had retired back to their room. Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling. One's feet are killing one.'

Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour ..... But it would ...Read more
Public health warning - Water Posted on 08/11/2008 08:57 PM by garypoot
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in ...Read more
Al-Gebra Posted on 08/11/2008 08:51 PM by garypoot
The Threat

London 11th August - A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick
Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,
a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference the Home Secretary said she believes the
man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. She did not identify the
man, who has been charged by ...Read more